I use Jon because he has a fresh pair of ears and no preconceived ideas about the songs. He can go wild with effects and playing with the sounds we recorded. I’ve heard what he did with Moustashe’s Cd Trailer Daze, and George’s bare bones CD Goin’ Native. Jon is a master of thinking outside the box with glorious results.

I’ll be doing my own artwork for my CD. In fact the artwork created is the same as the header on my blog. The cover and name came first. The Blog second.

The liner notes or the words on the inside of the cd, is where I’m having my problems. The thank you’s are tough because I don’t want to leave anyone out. I’m bound to and will sheepishly apologize. I’ve dedicated the album to the three “Gs” George Ozier, Greg Ozier, and Garrie Carlen. All three of them had a major effect on my musical upbringing. I describe it in detail on the CD. I thank all the musicians who played and gave up their time to play on my wacky collection of songs. Easy. Thanking the people I trusted to listen to it and give me their opinion or just plain giving them a sneak peek. Thanking the people who inspired the songs. My old bands, and bands that I know and inspire me. Either through their friendship and support with the making of the CD. Also just friends who have helped me through the past few troubling years. Now that I see the sunshine more than the clouds they have become even more important to me and I don’t want them to think I don’t love and appreciate them and will never take them for granted.

Here is the problem: Part of me want’s to finish the notes with a message to those others who helped inspire an album full of happiness, inside jokes and love songs. The song ”The Monkey Speaks His Mind” is the only dark song on the record but I’ve always loved the old New Orleans talking blues and it’s views on man. Some of the views turned out to be prophetic.

“Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do, Go out at night and get all in a stew, And take a gun, or a club, or a knife, and take another monkey’s life.” ~ The Monkey Speaks His Mind.

Do I put that last twist of the knife and dedicate Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street” to the crappy people I’ve known through out my whole ordeal?

I was thinking about doing it something like this:

I dedicate Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street” to the uncaring, lying, cheating, and stealing ex, her heartless children,unchristian Ministers, band members who never returned the loyalty given to them, a decade of fair-weather friends who chose to follow the wrong friend. To the liars,back stabbers,both literally and figuratively, and their families who never showed compassion or apologized for the acts. The parents of a few families in Jewett, IL who are clueless and have over blown egos. To the women who made their ex-boyfirends jealous by using me, for texting the guy next to us while I was taking them out, for using me as their door mat, and for those who never considered the feelings of others. Listen to this CD and know it was also inspired as a fuck you to all of you. The love, jokes, and happiness on this album is an answer to all of you. You deserted me when I was down but you failed to realize I wasn’t out. I’m stronger, smarter, and a better man than all of you.

I didn’t record the Bob Dylan song because I wanted to put as much effort into making something for you as you did in reaching out a helping hand when I needed it, which is none. I can look my self in the mirror. Can you?

Now a few months ago I realized I was still trying to get back at these people. The hate I had for them even fueled my happiness. Kind of like “screw you I’m happy in spite of you.” I don’t want to feel that way. I want to be happy because I am happy. I thought I had reached that point. I let it go remember? But writing these liner notes made me want to dredge up the last word on the subject. I must not have let it all go. I feel like I have. I don’t get angry, I’m understanding by seeing things from other’s point of view. Somewhere getting deeper inside me is that angry man who wants to get in each person’s face and tell them how it felt. I’m still not too good to mention to them they didn’t text or call when I needed them. But through it I saw who my real friends are, met some great new friends, dated women I always found attractive but never said a word to because I was married. I’ve rekindled a friendship that is blossoming into something more. Without the pain would I have appreciated the love, kindness, and just the fact she likes ME?

I would really like some feedback on this. I’m torn. I’m not sure I want such a negative thing on my CD. It’s like a bad tattoo, It follows you forever. But part of me wants them to know they helped me make such an album. The CD is good. Real good. Much better than even I expected. There are some wacky songs on there. I did listen to a little too much Zappa in my younger years. But there are also more than a handful of love songs, lust songs, and songs about cars and story songs. There are some gems. each song had a person or a situation in mind. Soul Leech Records, the Co-Op record company I use, demands that your songs be honest no matter the style. It is an honest album, filled with my thoughts and loves and sense of humor.

Things are going great with B.B. the woman I’ve been seeing. I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like but when we do get together it’s always a wonderful time. Her eyes haunt me.

It also looks like The Bombshells project is a go. I have the complete band together (knock on wood) and we will start putting this musical project together soon. I’ll have to make a complete blog about this project. I’ve been too windy already.

Tattoos did someone say? Well once again I’m in the mood to start finishing these sleeves. I’ve been walking around for years half-finished. Not Dave’s fault but mine. Come Check out his new studio Living Color Tattoo. I go in at 11:00 Monday morning. Come by and chat while I set and cry because it hurts. Someone come and hold my hand!

Once again, help a brother out and give me some feed back on this liner note thing. Speaking of Bob Dylan he said “You really don’t know a person till you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, then it really doesn’t matter because you are a mile away and you have their shoes.”

Here is the song I didn’t record for those assholes. The lyrics are way too true… I couldn’t find Dylan’s but Simply Red did a nice version. Plus you have lyrics if you ant to sing along. they fade out out on the best line but you’ll have read it anyway. Enjoy!

Lyle spent 90 days in jail waiting to post bond. He has two class X felonies charged against him. Home invasion, where after he called his friend to watch the kids, walked 40 minutes to what he was thinking was my house, he snuck in my mom’s house with a knife he brought from home, hid in the kitchen for 15 minutes and then snuck up behind me and stabbed me in the back. I’d say after his emailed threats he may have pre planned this. I have two witnesses, the cops came in after I had stopped him by punching him in the face a few times. Lyle then wrote a confession to the police and told pretty much the same story we all did. At least he’s not a liar, well on that night he wasn’t much of one. He may have lied a bit when he said we argued but i rarely argue with a knife welding maniac with my back to him. Oh well if you can’t do the time don’t do the crime, as my father used to say to me. It looks like he’ll be doing a lot more time than he expected. I don’t think things turned out the way he was expecting but in the end he has won. Except for the prison gang rapes. I’m sure he wasn’t counting on that.

V was a mess. I stood by her. Stood up for her. Loved her. She handled the situation by crying, I handled it with anger. She never tried to understand how I felt about it and we broke up. Still with love. She texted every day to get me back and after I had worked through it then she changed her mind. She loved the attention I suppose. She loved to break down at work long after the fear had went away. She changed. The loving girl I knew became selfish, a liar, a cheater and absolutely void of respect for anyone, including her own children.

Soon she started dating a pedophile. She didn’t care that she had two little girls in her home as long as she had attention. Lyle even tore up his car and she still didn’t believe he would do such a thing, but did think I would. Luckily I had an alibi. She doesn’t get Lyle is a homicidal maniac and will kill. Good luck leaving him now. She’ll be a dead woman.

She gained my trust for the umpteenth time and then as the last stake in the heart has reunited with the manic who stabbed me and her.

It’s funny she’s on the other side of the table. Lyles parents don’t want her around. Her parents chose a killer and a pedophile over me. I learned right then that they were two idiots. When I say idiots that’s a nice term and putting it lightly. Her Dad and Mom have an over inflated ego for no reason. They don’t have the sense God gave a goose. Oh well fuck em. Maybe next time it’ll be their kitchen Lyle is hiding in and then they can tell me how I should have handled things. When Lyle goes nuts thinking about the guys V saw and had in his bed, he’ll kill her. Their choice. I can’t protect her any more and that was all of their choices.

There is a deal in the works and this entire incident could be put behind us this very day. The weight of Lyle going to gang rape prison is now on his family’s shoulders. Years of having your asshole reamed by a group of scary men seems to mean nothing to them so they are messing around. Keep it up and you’ll get your wish, I really don’t care what happens to him, Ok that’s a lie, I like the thought of him being anally raped. If they want him to be a father, son, and husband, then they will step up. If they don’t I won’t blink an eye before sending him to prison. As my friend Bugs pointed out, “It won’t be jail, he’ll be in prison with other stabbers.” Sad. I’m sure the Wellbaums don’t think my life is worth it but it looks like they don’t think His is either. Tough shit for him. Say good-by to the kids for a while, See your boy again when he’s 20 and explain why you traded my life for his. Oh well that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Sorry Lyle, with the sympathy and apologies you, your family and friends have given, which is none, I have none for you. Maybe you all should have taken a look at being kind. I’m a very kind and forgiving person, unless you stab me, and unless you lie to me V.

Lyle won, the V I know is gone forever and this new one has a life of fear ahead of her. At least she won’t be bored of him anymore. She left because she wasn’t happy. Lyle was boring. Now sleep with one eye open honey. Hide the knives, the next one may be pointed at your throat.

I’ll miss my love and mourn the death of a friend. The V I know today isn’t the person I knew then. Just like the Lyle she knew then isn’t the same. I Have let all of that go. I’ll move on with my new girl who does seem to be breaking down the pain and the walls I’ve had up.

This girl seems great. She’s beautiful, kind, thinks of others. She think about my well-being as well as her’s and her children. I respect her for that. She has the character to tell me the truth and is proud to have me as her man so far. It seems too good to be true. After spending a year wrapping my world around V. Trying to keep her safe whether we were together or not, I have put up a wall and have a hard time letting people in. This girl took the time to find the door. I can’t believe it. Just when you think they all liars and cheaters, here comes one to change your mind. She likes me for me and isn’t trying to change me to suit her. I think she’s great the way she is and I’m pretty sure she thinks the same of me… we’ll see it’s a little early in the game to know what will happen but I have hope. Hope was the last thing I held onto for V. She’s gone RIP… I loved and will miss you my friend.

On to new things…. I should blog more I have some great things coming up. New Cd is close to being out. It’s being mixed right now. Mustash’s CD is close to being out and I played a gig with them and a bunch of Bass on their CD. George’s CD is out! It’s great pick up a copy or down load it. Here it is..

George Ozier – Goin’ Native It’s a fantastic CD and we are getting great reviews and quite a bit of radio play. Call you local radio station and request it!

Till next time my friends…

–Sammy

It’s strange how that fire has not only made me bitter and hateful on the inside and if I don’t know you very well you wouldn’t know it. I realize I used the hate even to be happy and nice. Like kind of Fuck you to those who brought me this anger.I’ll show you. I’ll be happy so you don’t know the pain I feel. Its like letting go of an old friend that has been there for years.

The anger part is gone. I’ve had a long weekend and some damaging words said to me, but it didn’t make me mad. It upset me quite a bit but at least it’s not anger. As those regular readers know I have a sharp tounge and the better your arguments you give me the sharper it gets. It’s an old habit I learned in Wu. We did it as fun, and we did it to hurt each other. Find that chink in the armor and then twist the knife. It lead to some very funny moments on the road and the gigs. Pat can cut you to the quick with a statement. It’s always true and he uses it in a way that makes you actually feel better about it. He knows your weakness will point it out and still be your friend. He does it to be funny and doesn’t mind you swinging back. If you couldn’t use your noggin in Wu those guys would cut you to bits.

On the other hand it’s not a good habit to get used to. Unless you are with someone who handles it in the same way it’s tough to get used to. It’s also a mean way to argue. That’s gone too.

My shrink tells me there is nothing I can do about my past just the way I handle it. Lisa pretty much said the same thing, then a little more. I got to find out what her and her friends think. She spoke for them. So now there will be no problem with that either. No burdening of friends with problems. I hope they also remember that I try to make them smile and am here for them no matter what. It’s what friends are for.

I’ll read a little more on Buddhism. I love the book Siddhartha. I’m reading it again. Siddhartha is on a spiritual journey to find his faith. Between that and the Prophet I should have the answers to all my problems. Rome wasn’t built-in a day and I don’t expect this to work over night but I’m trying with all my heart. Lisa is right people are flawed. I won’t take it personally. I might avoid the situation but I won’t dwell on it.

The girl I have been seeing had some very special words last night. “Don’t be doing things you shouldn’t because I need you.” and “The guy I know is sweet and fun and makes me smile” Thanks pretty lady I haven’t heard those words in way too long. They will go miles and I will think of them when I start to get down or angry. She sees me for me. She see’s past the hurt and anger inside. She knows with a little love and understanding I’ll make it.

My blog has hurt people. It was meant to. It kept me from exploding in fits of rage. Saying things that hurt to people I care about. I won’t be doing that anymore if I can help it.

Becca–It’s gone
Ya-Ya’s— Gone
Poprocks—Gone
Countless others — Gone

I’ll harbor no ill will and I hope you can all do the same. With some help from my shrink and therapist, not so much from Lisa I tend to annoy her with questions. She’s been trough it so i can’t blame her for not wanting to rehash old memories. So thanks for the start Lisa. I will take your wonderful idea and run with it. Hell I pay a therapist isn’t that his job? Thanks again. I’m forever in your debt. I will pay without asking anything in return.

To everyone else thanks for the patience and understanding. It’s a great day and I will make it that way everyday. My slate is clean of hurt and resentment. Please accept my apologies.

You might think making a CD is as simple as walking in with a band and bashing out some tunes and then sending them to the CD printer. But it’s nothing like that at all. It’s a little tedious at times but most the time it’s fun tossing ideas around, listening to a song that you created that day and that wasn’t here yesterday. It’s like magic. Here’s how you do it, or how I do it.

Step 1. Decide to make an album. It’s not as easy as it sounds. You have to be ready to give up a lot of your time, plus be inspired, plus a focus on the type of CD you want to make. Can you afford it? Will your family or girlfriend be angry when you are in the studio… Can you sell it? Do you even want to sell it?

Step 2. I usually have a few songs or pieces of songs I’ve worked on and forgotten. A chorus here, a line or two there, some chord changes. I write best under pressure. When I walk into the studio I do have an idea of the type of album I want to make. I’m a roots rock guy so the instruments I use mostly are guitars, bass, both electric and upright, acoustic drums, Organs, and pianos. I’m lucky enough to know plenty of musicians so if there is something extra like banjo or Dobro, I know the guys to call. This time I had a title for the album already “The Monkey Speaks His Mind” the blog was named after it. The title is from an old New Orleans talking blues. I’ve always loved it and the story it tells. My version is recorded and one of the first songs finished for the CD.

step 3. The studio. I’ll go in with about 4 or 5 songs and a bunch of covers (other people’s songs I’d like to redo.) During my time there I write more and replace the cover songs with original compositions. I’ve worked with Both Jon Clarkson and George Ozier on albums. They are both great in their own ways. Jon is a perfectionist. He’ll spend hours getting the sounds he wants trying different microphones and placing them in different spots to get different sounds. George on the other hand works quickly. Set up your amp dial in a  good tone and get to playing. Both have their pros and cons. Sometimes taking too long to get set up takes away from the enthusiasm of laying down a part, sometimes the sound actually inspires you.

Since I don’t have a band in the studio, I’ll bring my songs to George. Play them, work out the parts if needed and then we go in to the keyboard and record a “sync track” its a drum track that simply repeats at a certain speed. A person naturally speeds up and slows down while playing. You’ll never notice it but when you are trying to put another part on and the tempo is off, you will be too. Drum track down, I’ll play the guitar over it with my arrangement of the song. Intro, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus….out. That how a commercial song is put together. I use it a lot, but not always. Mixing it up can make for some interesting results. Take a look at Stairway to Heaven by Zeppelin. It speeds up, there is no chorus. It’s the most requested song on classic rock radio and it doesn’t follow the commercial pattern at all. Weird. After that I usually lay down a bass part. Not all of these tracks are always kept. Sometimes a different part is called for so you redo it.

Rarely do you play a song all the way through without making a mistake. Onstage you’d never notice a bum note here or there or a chord not fretted correctly. In the studio all these things stand out and if you don’t fix them you spend the rest of your life wishing you would have taken the time to fix it. So we play the parts as many times as it takes to get it right. Sometimes we’ll record two or three different parts and chose from them. If you play a good take but there is a mistake in it we “punch in” or just record the messed up part. Sometimes we add the vocals or a scratch vocal to the song just to get an idea of what it’s going to sound like. the melody and tone. We usually end up rerecording that later. Then I take the finished backing tracks home.

Step 4. Brainstorming. After I get the backing tracks I listen to it over and over trying to decide what instruments to use, arrangements of the instruments, changes to the song, effects you want to use.Vocal backups arranged or at least written. Changes to the words, and melody. This is where you get to be creative.

Step 5. Laying down the rest of the song. I’ll go in play guitars, bass, maybe a little keyboard, while describing what I’m going for to the recording engineer. In this case its George. We’ll argue over instruments, me wanting to add everything plus the kitchen sink and him wanting it to sound naked. We usually compromise and the outcome either blows us away or we remove it. George played a lot of guitar on this CD and tons of keys. I’m not a keyboard player but I can play a little George on the other hand plays well and why should I play crappy when he can do it. I do the same for him on bass quite a bit, and sometimes guitar. Then you spend the rest of the time lining up who you need to finish your track. Book a drummer. Female backups, call the girls. Horns? Call the horn players and schedule them. The list can go on and on. No wonder it takes a year to make an album of 3 minute songs.

Step 6. Finishing the song. At a certain point, to me at least anyway. A song just sounds done. You listen to it over and over. Sometimes it needs something else. You don’t know what but it just seems not finished. Try a harmonica, mandolin, keyboard, percussion…etc. Till its finished.

Step 7. Repeat steps 2-6 until you have enough songs to fill an album. If I had a band that I played these songs with a lot I could probably make the CD in about two weeks. I don’t and prefer to make this using the musicians I want for the parts.  So it takes some time.

Step 8. Mixing. So I have all the parts of the song I want recorded now we have to blend them together, put effects and EQ’s on things to make them thicker, or less pronounced, louder, quieter. It’s a tedious process that I hate and usually leave to someone else. Jon Clarkson of X-Krush will be mixing my CD. He can also change the entire sound of the song. His main purpose is to make it sound good with all the parts where they need to be. A simple example of this is Van Halen 1. The bass comes out of the left speaker the guitar out of the right, the singer and the drums come out of both. Play with your pan button on your car and you’ll see how they place the instruments  where they are.

Step 9. Mastering. After listening to mixes you have probably listened to the same batch of songs at least 1000 times by now. Your kind of sick of them, you lose perspective. Are they any good? Will people like them? Are they the greatest songs ever written? If your like me you float back and forth between loving and hating it. You play rough mixes (quickly mixed versions) for those you trust to tell you the truth or your musician buddies and get an idea of what they like and what they don’t. Sometimes I follow their advice and sometimes My favorite parts are others least favorites. There is no right or wrong, just opinions.

The entire group of songs are then mastered. They are put together in the order you want, made to sound like they were all recorded together to give it a consistant flow. Placing the songs with the standard 2 seconds between them, and getting the CD as loud as you can without it distorting. Its kind of like smoothing out cement. The songs are put into the truck, the truck spins and mixes them together so the become concrete, and then its dumped into where ever you want. Mastering is the smoothing out of the cement. Making it look like one piece of sidewalk.

Step 10. Art work. I’m a graphic artist and do a lot of CD covers so doing my own is fine with me. I don’t have to check with anyone, just play with it till I like it. Making liner notes, thank you’s, giving credit to the writers and musicians who played on your CD. I usually do this while it’s being mixed and mastered which can take a month or so after the CD is “in the can.”

Step 11. Proof. Is everything how you want it, songs in the right order, does it sound good on your home stereo, car, or huge sound system? Hopefully yes to all of them. Are names spelled right? Did you forget someone important? (Like thanking Kelly.) If you mess it up now you’re gonna be living with it for the rest of your life.

Step 12. Having it printed. Send the artwork and cd to the printers. They’ll in turn make it into the CD, package it, Bar code, shrink-wrap it, and then send it to you. That’s one long week. Even scarier when you have 1000 Cd’s setting in your living room and you wonder how in the hell you are gonna sell em.

Step 13. Promote the CD. Sell the damn thing, get reviews, play it out, get it on the radio, get it to bigger companies who may be interested in picking it up and selling it or signing you to make another CD for them. Lets not forget by the first time anyone hears it, you have listened to it a million times. I usually listen to the entire thing when I get it and never play it again for about 6 months. All the while you have to be excited about it, talk about it, and sell it. Don’t put out another one too soon or it’ll stop the sale of the current one.

By this time you get what is known as “Finished Album Blues” you work so hard to get it done then all of a sudden your done. No running to the studio, no fighting with George or Jon, no decisions, just time on your hands that you haven’t had for a year. You start thinking about your next CD… Start all over at step 1.

I had a ball making “Love Is” that Becca and I put out under  Becca Kaid, (her stage name) I co-wrote most the CD and played on it. Mixed it with Jon Clarkson and also produced it with Jon. We had fun writing the songs, recording and touring with it. Becca and I put out a good CD with two minor hits in Europe on it. We hit #99 and #64 on the top 100 songs there. Sure they fell right off but damn it Becca and I broke the top 100 twice. More than I could ever have imagined. Sold all the CD’s too!

I did three CD’s with Dr Wu. Our EP “Fingerpoppin” Worst cover ever. Do You “Wanna play Doctor?” Which was released after I left the band but I was the guitarist on all the stuff, and “Dr Wu Live at the Mark Cornell benefit” Not an album I’m especially proud of but it is a picture of the night. George is too drunk, but thankfully Becca, Pat and Mark sang songs on there and saved the day. Mark put out all three Cd’s and I haven’t seen a dime from any of them. LOL! Oh well I wasn’t expecting to.

My cd has some wonderful cuts I think

“Fireball 8″ is about my old 49 Buick and after George tweaked the lyrics it’s now about my 49 Buick and his penis. I get to play with Garrie Carlen on guitar. A musical mentor, and great friend and guitarist. Dueling master and student…Garrie is still the master.

“Come On Katie” a love song to Katie that never worked. She loved the song. I rarely tell anyone who my songs are for but Katie deals with depression like me and I thought it might make her feel good to know someone thought enough of her to write a song about her.

“Lookin’ For Trouble” just rocks.

“Howl at the Moon” Some girls with long legs just make you wanna howl at the moon!

“Lola” is my latest and my favorite so far. Teddy Pedergrass eat your heart out!

Plus about 8 or 9 more. They all mean something to me. I hope they strike a chord with you too. It’s a happy CD. I bitch a lot on my blog to release frustrations but I am happy. I refuse to put out a negative album. Like a bad tattoo it’ll follow you for life. I want a happy record to celebrate love, love lost, love never gained, monkies, cars, and even George’s penis. Celebrate my friends and make you smile when ever you pop it in.

Thanks for listening

Sammy and the Snake Charmer’s Union (that’s my band name)

Here is Steve Earle and the Pogues recording “Johnny Come Lately” They are doing it live as a band. I do it the same just one instrument at a time. Oh yeah listen to as much Steve Earle as you can!

A few minutes into this scenario a man comes up on a 4 wheeler. Thinks I’m doing drugs down there and was going to run me off. He comes up to the window and I break down. I was so calm before and this stranger from Philadelphia gets me out and talks to me. the entire time I’m shaking, crying uncontrollably, and refusing to tell him anything except my family doesn’t give a fuck and they are all I have. Becca had made sure that I never stayed close to my real family, it’s easier to control someone when you make them think they are the only ones who care.

He finally found my phone in the car with one bar left on it. Becca had went to a party that she uninvited me to because for the hundredth time she wanted a divorce. She loved dangling my security of having a home wife and kids over my head. It was her little sadist way of beating me up. I never considered it in my life, hitting a woman, but I should have beat that bitch black and blue for what she did to me.

Becca wouldn’t answer so the man called the Becca’s folks house and they put her through. I’m telling most of this second-hand since I don’t remember much about this. We went to the gas station uptown and Becca’s minister father and Becca came to pick me up. Becca drove the car home and Roger drove me. For a minister he sucks, not a kind word, nothing. It probably wouldn’t get him in the handout at church so why bother , right? Becca gave me a Xanex put me to bed and went back to the party where she came home the next day and I had my shit packed to get some help. Two days “resting” at three west, a change of medication that actually worked and I was on my way to being right. I was feeling better..getting stronger and bam! Becca throws me out again. This time I was strong enough to stand up. Shakey but stand up. We pulled it out another year, she cheated and lied and hung around friends that were just like her, Fuck you TJ, Tracy, and Jamie. You all share many things in common, being cunts is just one of them I showed real friendship to all of you and in return I got a back stabbing.

What would cause Becca to change so much? Or did she really change? Hell you can’t make a purse out of a sows ear. When I met her she was fucking half of Effingham, some for free some for money. She was married to Dan at the time so what did I expect? We always hit it off and could make each other laugh, but somewhere along the line she didn’t care if I lived or died and she proved it by leaving a suicidal man to go to a party with her brother and sister.

The Family. They think they are the greatest. I used to set there at holidays and listen to wonderful stories about all the great things they were and how everyone else is jealous. Katie, didn’t get along at school, cause she was a spoiled bitch. Sherry was so wonderful the greatest nurse ever. She was fucking the black guy she worked with, Randy her NASCAR loving, cock sweep mustache wearing, closet homo (not that I’m against homosexuals, just Randy) would have killed if he would have known those same lips he kissed were wrapped around  a prick a few hours earlier (paraphrasing David Alan Coe). Travis, Mr. I’m so funny, was never funny. We had to all feel bad for him because his wife left him. He would call her fat, come home and fuck around like he was single. His wife on the other hand joined a gym, met her goal, found a guy at the gym and told Trav ”See ya later turkey my attorney will be in touch!” (That was from Jerry Reed). She was beautiful big or small. he fucked up, but according to the family Jennifer was bad. Mother in Law was so stupid she thought they were always right and never wrong…Becca told me stories of her taking them to have coffee everyday with some manager at a restaurant. I’m sure she never told Roger she was having an affair. I don’t know that for real but Becca assumed it was so I’m taking that from what she told me. Roger just sucked. A hypocrite minister, who wouldn’t do a thing for anyone including his own kids if it were to cost him a dollar. But stand there on a pulpit and he’s the greatest. He’ll visit parishioners but not his son-in-law who is raising his grand kids while his daughter is out training or screwing someone. (Yeah early on it was me so I know she wasn’t too good to cheat.)

I’ve paid for my mistakes and lack of morality when I was young. I lost a great wife and a great friend and lover and probably the biggest love I’ve ever had Kathleen over this. Since that time I didn’t lie, cheat, or be disrespectful to my wife whether she was right there or in another room. I’ve paid for it in guilt and depression, dangling my life and security over my head for eight years. I help and volunteer where I can just to pay for my sins and the pain I caused Shannon and Kathleen. I’m still paying. I pay for it with my heart and the girls I’ve seen since, with friends who aren’t really friends, But I’ve learned a thing or two in the process. I can tell fake people pretty quick, self-centered, mean, no character, no respect…these flags all come flying. When I let my guard down they sneak through and I’m reminded again.

The girl I’ve been seeing came over last night since I’ve been running through this all in my mind all week as the holiday came around. I’m gonna tell you what she said as she was half way home. “Ur so awesome i  just adore u” written in text speech just like that. It was the best birthday present I have gotten in ten years. It had love, and thought behind it, there were no ulterior motives or needing an ego pumped. It was just what she was thinking on her way home and we did nothing but set on the couch and talk and laugh. Now that’s how you celebrate life.

I still get bouts of depression. I still haven’t decided if I choose life or death. But I do know that 1% who see’s me for me. Who knows me well enough to look past the scars and see the man I am. Laura wake up! I’m the man you need! (Ok that just came out…)

Happy Birthday to me and It’s been a rough three years but it beats being with the McIntire clan. They will self destruct someday. Thanks for all the well wishes Jensin and Kaid, you heartless brats. I should have grounded you more and never bought you everything you ever wanted and made your mom get off her knees long enough to watch your games, take you to the Dr., or any of the other million things I did for you long before your Mom deserted you. Glad you know how it feels!

I have to let this anger go… There is always next year…

1. Got to tell a great friend that her boy friend is a pedophile. She didn’t believe me even though I got it straight from the horse’s mouth. So now I don’t get to talk to her since I took myself out of the picture so she didn’t think it was just a spiteful thing to say to get her back. I miss her but if it saves her kids from being molested then what the fuck. I’ll trade my friendship for the horror a child would have to go through. Punishment…being called a liar, no friend… a child molester on the loose.

2. Becca (no not that one) we had a wonderful date and then comes her old boyfriend who she still loved back into the picture. I understood, she was upfront and how could I blame her for taking not going with her heart. We left as friends.  She called last week crying..before we could get to what was wrong she said she couldn’t cry in front of her kids and she’d call the next day. She didn’t. I texted her a few times the next morning with a joke and concern. I was then reprimanded for texting her at work. Then I come home with an email saying bla bla and if you don’t like the way I’m dealing with you then fuck it. Well I responded,” Instead of saying fuck it, I think the proper response would have been thank you for your concern.” So light the match and get ready to burn the bridge Sam.  “Since you should treat others as they treat you…Fuck you Becca…you make it easy”. Punishment…No friend Becca and a waste of my time for being concerned and helping another friend.

3. Been seeing a little of this pretty girl. Going slow, coffee, video games etc. small kiss. We made plans for coffee last Sunday because I had to play shows all weekend. I’m playing a show in Teutopolis. Private party. Well guess who shows up and then comes up to me before my last set. The pretty girl!. How exciting! Then the guy she was with came up and they dirty danced hugged and kissed all through my set. I felt about an inch tall. No call for coffee from her the next day of course. I texted her Tues. She didn’t understand why I would think that was a little cold and heartless. Maybe it’s me but I still think that was wrong. Punishment… No new friend/relationship, arguing over class and character. She’ll get it someday and don’t tell me she didn’t know…she did. Lack of compassion on her end and another brick around my heart.

4. A pretty good friend was having a bad day facing her depression for the first time. I offered to come up and see her and tell her how to get started on the road to recovery. That was great. Its easier to talk face to face with her than text. What would take an hour face to face could take four or five texting and calling is not an option for certain reasons. So I take off to help and then was gonna stop by the benefit jam for Rick Neese at Toasters. As I’m driving up there She’s ‘Ok” and “It’ll be fine, I’m just gonna think about things tonight.” and no answers. So I just skipped it and told her when she wanted the help text and I’ll be happy to help her. I go to the jam and step out for a smoke with Brett the drummer for 5 Gone Mad and guess who pulls up boyfriend in tow. She got a better offer…  This is the second time in 24 hours that this happened. She then started texting me the next day. Out of guilt no less. “You should have stayed, I wanted a drink to clear my head of the bad thoughts, bla bla bla.” I didn’t run up there because I wanted to go I went to help a friend. Punishment… feeling like an ass for the  second time in 24 hours.

These were all “nice” girls. I didn’t meet them at gigs. I didn’t put on any bullshit cool lines or felt I needed to. I was myself and it looks like they were themselves too. Are 99% of people that uncaring? It looks that way. But I have a great group of friends that give me hope.

George, my archenemies, partner in crime and music, and best friend till the end. I don’t tell him enough but he’s the greatest no matter if he is “crazy as cat shit”

Beth my little potty mouthed angel. We became friends by sharing a cubical wall at Patterson. The first one to see my pain after my divorce and all the Effingham friends deserted. We’ve been close ever since. Peas and carrots God damn I love and miss her. She would have set these bitches straight LOL.

Jenny, my friend since school. A true love of my life. We’ve seen the bad baby now its time to see the good. You are the greatest and even if I don’t get to talk or see you as much as I want, I think about you everyday.

Lisa, we are pretty new at this but have become closer than I ever expected. Watching old movies at our separate homes has become a favorite thing of mine to do with you. You always have the right thing to say and know when to kick me in the ass. I love talking silly shit with you and hope you know you can turn to me for anything. Read her blog, Lisa’s Fresh Hell. She’s no dumb bimbo, don’t underestimate her… be kind to her.

I talk to these people everyday. They know absolutely everything about me and the struggles I see. George ignores them, Beth gets mad, and Jenny sympathises, Lisa kicks me in the ass. Depending on what I need I know who to go to.

There are so many that I talk to and love also. I’m not as close as these four but pretty close. Shelia, Lola, Kathleen (yep that Kathleen, and yes I’m still in love with her),Laura, the Dougs, Rod, Merv, Garv, Heather, Heather and Travis,  Cyndi, Tommy, the Edwards Boys, Brandi, Poss, Marna, Pat,  Amy, and Liz. I know I’m forgetting some and they mean no less to me than the others…It’s still morning and I can’t think

I’m still the new guy in 5 Gone Mad. Brandi and I have become a little closer but she definitely keeps people at arm’s length. Brandi, George, and I got together to work on some music for her. She wrote this song “She’s everything you’ll ever need” Come to find out Brandi listens and watches more than I knew. The song is about me. It tears me up to listen to it because she nailed it right on the head. Great fucking song, but please don’t write about me  any more. So now without her permission I made a quick video so you can hear the tune. Wow talk about killing me softly with her song. Thank you Brandi, I’m honored to be the subject of such a wonderful song. This is a demo and not the finished song so take it for what it is…it’s still a nice recording. You took a brick or two away just for the thought. Too bad it reminds me of the last ten years and especially this last year. You have now filled a Brandi sized hole in my heart. Bless you!

I got an offer in November to do three dates in Wisconsin with Black N Blue due to the bass player’s wife being due with a baby during the same dates. I agreed. So now I’m gonna be hitting the road. So I thought I’d think of some of my favorite moments and remember why it’s the life I love.

I was playing with Dr Wu, we were doing a rehearsal with Gene “the Duke of Earle” Chandler. Gene is a little (to say the least) off-center. The band is running through a medley of Marvin Gaye tunes from his “What’s Going On” album. A definite desert island disc for sure. Any way, we keep coming to this part and the band train wrecks twice. The charts he gave the rhythm sections and the charts he gave the horn section weren’t matching up. Now Gene and his band director (I forget his name but he did a lot of work with Earth, Wind and Fire) were pissed. 3 hours before the show and WU didn’t know the song. Dr. of music Dr. Shane Pitsch says to the band director and Gene, “This chart is wrong.” The band director jumps up and yells, “I’ve played this chart all over the world! Nothing wrong with this chart!” Shane says in his laid back way, “Well I read music every day and this chart is wrong…” Turns out the chart was wrong. We made it through the show after that no problem. I love it when the cocky “big boys” make mistakes.

We used to gig in a small town south of here where we were treated like kings. A ten piece R&B band swinging into town was a big deal there and the party never ended. we were just starting to taste success in our early 20′s. A musician in the band (he’ll have to remain nameless) ends up in the backstage area after the show with a girl named Angel. Now we were a class act. The Musician decided to take Angel into the bathroom and have himself taken care of orally. My good buddy and fellow band member Doug Evans and I hatched a plan. I said, I have a camera in my bag. He gets the evil look in his eye and we go to the bathroom door. I’m holding the camera, and Doug has his hand on the handle. On the count of three we are supposed to burst open the door and snap the picture of the musician getting the oral treatment from Angel.

One… Two…
Then on the word three a drunken pissed off mother busts in the backstage and says “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DAUGHTER?!”

Doug and I look at each other like the cat that swallowed the canary and high tailed it away from the door looking guilty as hell. The Mother busts in the door and straightens out Angel and unstraightens the Wu musician.

That same musician also was able to sweet talk the beautiful desk clerk in LaCross Wisconsin into spending the evening with him at the hotel, he also picked up a super hot MILF at a show and was finished before we were done tearing down. Ah to be young again.

It wasn’t all sex, but lets not forget, we were young, getting our first taste of the big time and taking advantage.

Now Doug was always a pretty boy, Blonde, prom and homecoming king, captain of the football team, etc… I stood next to him on stage as the guitarist and he was the bass player. We were doing a show to a packed house of at least 800-1000 people in a tent. When ever a pretty little thing would look at the guys, he’d always tell me, “She’s looking at me”, I always assumed they were. Well not this night. We’re smokin hot, doing a great gig, screaming, yelling, can’t get enough kind of show. She’s pointing at our side of the stage. Doug says “she’s pointing at me”, I reply “I think she’s pointing at me”…Pretty soon she is at the front of the stage pointing at yours truly and performing fellatio on her water bottle. Doug says, “Dude, she’s pointing at you.”

We come off stage and we go back to the trailer to cool off and relax and the stage manager comes and knocks on the door. “Um someone wants to see you.” Me in my cocky, in front of the guys mode says, “should I bring a condom?”… I had no idea that girl was standing right outside the door, I felt an inch tall. She asked if I wanted to meet her for drinks but I was married to Shannon at the time. I said “I can’t.” she asked if I’m married, and my response, and I still hear it from the guys to this day “Yeah. Kinda.” Like kinda being pregnant. Oh well. I was good but I learned to watch what I say when I don’t know who’s at the door.

Shane, was doing pretty well with a drunk chick at a gig, so as a gang we helped him out and played a slow number so he could dance with her. We played it twice as long as usual to help him out. He wasn’t so smooth with the ladies in those days. He gets back up to the stage and we ask “How’d ya do?”, He says “Pretty good until she started crying.” Oh well can’t win em all.

I spent endless nights fighting and laughing till I cried listening to Bugsy tell stories of drunks at El Patio, the local road house. Curled up under a Uhaul blanket in the back of the van with Doug because the heat was out. Answering the question, what do you guys really do, with “He’s a bounty hunter and raises champion wiener dogs.”

These are random memories:

Sweet the drummer constantly splitting the crotch out of his pants and making sure we all knew it.

Mark standing with two whole roast beefs in each hand saying “This is some hip beef.”

We have a major problem….

I’m OOP (out of pot on the road)

A guy stopping the show in the middle so we could play a slow song for him and his girl, and then handing us a dollar tip, yep that’s a dime a piece once we split it up.

Doug Evans pushing Jon “XKrush” Clarkson into the middle of a corporate event at Union Station in St Louis, in a wheel chair they found somewhere. Jon helplessly just rode it out. Good sport.

Having Jerry Reed call me “Son” just like in the Smokey and the Bandit movies.

Playing bass with George Lynch of Dokken and feeling like i was 16 again busting out “Tooth and Nail” with a guitar hero of mine. Seeing the smile on Georges face the first time we did it and nailed it. ***see the video***

I got to play the tiger-striped guitar…I also had a poster of Lynch on my wall in school. Horrible video LOL

Stepping off the plane in Puerto Rico

Arguing with Hocky stars Brett Hull about a bar in st louis and talking to his dad Bobby Sr. about where Greenup is. He knew his mother in law lived in Casey.

Sweet leaving a “phantom” in some rich guys house who was a prick to the band. A hantom is where you use the rest room in a home and don’t flush, on purpose.

Lobby luge!!!! This is where someone gets on the luggage rack at the hotel and someone else pushes you as fast as you can go down any incline, usually ending up in destruction of property and hurt musician.

Becca inventing the universal hand symbol for “camel toe” in the audience. There is another symbol for excellent mullet too. or as Wally would say “A Winged God”

“These towels are too large, cut them into hand towel size” Yes this was a real conversation between management and a buyer.

Being pulled over constantly, and having George say “You can’t say he had to take a weedle to a cop!”

Setting off the alarm system in the Baltimore jail causing lock down of all the prisoners as we were having photos taken with the cops who were chaperoning us. They told us not to touch anything…george did.

Endless discussions of bands that suck and the hating of the Steve Miller Band and Jimmy Buffet. Wally and Poss, I miss you guys. Listening to Japanese Heavy Metal EZO and Loudness. “Rock N Roll Crazy Nights, You are the CHEROS to night!

Clarkson and the tiny deli tray, also Clarkson putting the open condom in the water cooler on his last show with us, all the while I had broken into his website and set up a picture of him leading the gay pride parade. It was raining men!

Going to court over the Dancing Queen Contest.

OH I’ll tell one more then I promise that’ll be it for today.
We played a show early on in our career at this bar owned by two mean bitchy women. They had been being bitchy all night and we had a full house so no reason. Well they decided “No more free drinks for the band”. Chris and George then on break go to the liquor store that was on the other side of the building and buy cheap beer and hide it back behind the drummer. The owner catches George with a bottle of beer (they only had cans) and is pissed now.

After the show her and I are fighting about her crappy bar and I want my money and stick the rest up your ass. She’s yelling about my singer being caught with a beer and what was I gonna do about it? It went like this:

“Your singer was in here with beer he brought in from outside.” I said “oh yeah?” She says “What are you gonna do about it?” This was getting very heated and the band were breaking down and the bar staff were all gathered around listening.

I said “George, did you bring out side beer in here?” George stops wrapping cables and says “Yes sir, I did.”

I said “Your fired!” George smiles and says “OK” and then goes back to breaking down. I turned to the owner and said “There you go Bitch, now what are YOU gonna do?” Any way we got the money and left. I’ve only been stiffed three times, two I was under 18 and they were bikers who refused to pay after the show and the last was a couple of months ago at the Ice House in Mattoon. Needless to say I don’t play either without being paid upfront before a single piece of gear is unloaded.

Fuck it, I can do this, I have till November to get ready to hit it again. “Hello Wisconsin!”

Greg of Thunder I did go to school with and I don’t remember ever having a problem with him, He’s tight with Victoria’s meth man. Now Greg of Thunder, you have to understand. Victoria’s problems are between us. It’s not my fault your buddy Eddie walked off like a spineless pussy the night she ditched him to come spend the weekend with me. He should have shown some balls and at least stood up for her, or next to her. He walked off and left her ass hanging. A coward and won’t be there when the chips are down. Then he took her back after she stayed with me all weekend smelling of sex and naked cat. Like I care she burned her bridges my friend. There’s a lot more that goes into this than you know. So you might wanna keep your Gene Simmons ideas to yourself. I’m glad you are still in 3rd grade with your Kiss fetish. Imagine Gene’s tongue around that little prick of yours…which reminds me of the only Greg of Thunder story I have….

This was in high school. Greg of Thunder was in my PE class. It was co-ed and Bob Johnson the teacher was showing us how to bench press. He asked Janet to demonstrate. Great idea gather a bunch of guys around with hormones raging and have a sexy thing like Janet on her back lifting weights. Then Bob says “Greg now you demonstrate.” Greg of Thunder refused because he was popping a little chubby in his “way too tight” grey sweat pants and he didn’t want anyone to know that he had a tiny hard on. I still laugh about it and have told the story on various band trips and tours. The God of Thunder definitely isn’t in your pants my friend. LMAO!!!!

All kidding aside Greg of Thunder, While you’ve been working with sheet metal I’ve gigged all over making music, not idolizing a 70-year-old make up wearing crappy song writer and one of the worst bass players to ever come down the pike. And yeah I am a better player than him so that arguement won’t work. If I want crappy songs I’ll make ‘em myself. And marrying the first piece of ass you ever got doesn’t make you a stud either. Milton and I aren’t half as alone here as you think. We have many friends and lovers that have come through here. I didn’t set around and pull my pud all these years. Shirley you haven’t either Cunt.

Tell me about what you’ve done my friend, I’ll post it. Tell me about all the chicks you’ve been nailing, I see you’re a Christian, tell me about what Jesus would think about you being a chicken shit setting at home judging things you know nothing about? Tell me about your above average intellect and the inventions you’ve come up with? Or have you done nothing original in your whole life? Kinda figured. I do remember you from school but the only thing I remember is you were a douche bag in grey sweat pants and a Kiss shirt that you wore too much and you won at the county fair. Stay off my blog Greg of Thunder, or you’ll Shirley be the butt of several more of my jokes.

Now for another present for you, kinda spice up your day! Oh yeah I have a date tonight and she’s smokin’ hot. Wait till she see’s me in my Kiss make-up. I’m gonna follow your lead since you seem to be my guru. Keep posting help a brother out. If anyone needs the Greg of Thunder it’s me!

Here’s to you Greg of Thunder..Enjoy!

Get Animal Greg! Show the wife what that little Vienna Sausage can do! And you can count on it this FUCKER is having a great day! Your old lady has to look at your boring ass every day. Be original, not the douche bag you always were. Now go pull the trigger on your love gun.

First of all comments come through here before they are posted and unless it’s dangerous, or very personal I will post the good and the bad. After all If someone takes the time to write they deserve an answer.

 This cracks me up and also proves my thoughts… I’ll go by this line by line.

GodofThunder
fullcontctfighter90@hotmail.com
IP:        75.207.254.132

7/20/10

Wow, you’re a really big man. Fuck this, fuck that, what a wide range you have in your vocabulary. If you hate this small community so much, why are you living here tough guy? For a guy that’s so popular and has so many friends, you sure have a lot of time on your hands to write all this meaningless dribble. Looks to me like YOU are the real bitch. Pleased to meet you, hope you’ll guess my name. But alas, I’m sorry to say, I allready know you. I went to school with you. Don’t waste your time calling me a dumbass redneck, from your writings I can tell that my IQ is in no danger of being surpassed by your obviously less than average intellect. See, it’s so easy to pick on people from behind the inpeneterable shield of a computer. What a fuckin’ mongoloid you STILL are. Always have been. The most amusing part is, though, that your weakenes and insecurity are so obvious to everyone that reads your mindless posts. Here and on facebook too. Oh sure, people tell you how much they love you(women and men alike, I see), but the fact is that they are mostly all just being nice to try and make you feel better. Because they care, or because they have nothing better to do with their time than sit in front of their own computers, wasting their life away trying to console such a worthless piece of shit as yourself? Think about it while you’re sitting in your empty house, with your worthless no-haired cat as your only companion, feeling more self-loathing and self pity for yourself than anyone else could possibly feel. Oh, and by the way-HAVE A NICE DAY FUCKER!

Wow, you’re a really big man. Fuck this, fuck that, what a wide range you have in your vocabulary. If you hate this small community so much, why are you living here tough guy? For a guy that’s so popular and has so many friends, you sure have a lot of time on your hands to write all this meaningless dribble. Looks to me like YOU are the real bitch. Pleased to meet you, hope you’ll guess my name.

First of all I don’t remember anywhere in MY online journal saying I was a tough guy. With a handle like fullcontactfighter90 The girls on yahoo personals must just cream their jeans. I’ve seen the homo-erotic fighting you talk about, sweaty guys wrestling and setting on each other’s faces. Must be very stimulating. And you know your music, The Stones reference was excellent. Remember this one from Zappa’s Joe’s Garage album “Keep it Greasy so it’ll go down easy” Full contact has to be a little rough on the rear end.

GOT (God of Thunder) I came back off the road to regroup that’s why I’m home and after years of traveling thought it would be nice to see friends and family again. It’s the close minded, stay within 20 miles of my trailer people who drive me nuts. My apologies for using the word FUCK much too often but remember I was living with a group of musicians for so long that Fuck is kind of like a period for me. I’ll watch it a little more. I assure you living back home is only temporary. Steve Earle said, “Nothing will bring you down like your own home town.” I tend to stay home and keeping a journal has helped me rethink some of my options, thoughts, and self-doubt. It is what it is.

But alas, I’m sorry to say, I allready know you. I went to school with you. Don’t waste your time calling me a dumbass redneck, from your writings I can tell that my IQ is in no danger of being surpassed by your obviously less than average intellect. See, it’s so easy to pick on people from behind the inpeneterable shield of a computer. What a fuckin’ mongoloid you STILL are. Always have been.

Hmm the second part is even better. First I don’t hide anonymously behind the computer. My name is all over this blog and on my Facebook page. You are the one who used a pseudonym and are setting hiding behind your computer. I sign my name, why not you big boy?

Also as the leader of the Mongol Anti Defamation League or MADL I take offense to being called a mongoloid (which I haven’t heard in years. LOL! That one did make me smile. My sister used to call me that when we were little.) It’s about time that those of us from Eastern and Northern Asia stand up and refuse to be treated as such. Unless you are of course talking about the slang for Down Syndrome, which is just cruel for those with Down Syndrome. Let agree to make fun of the British, and quadriplegics…. Darn you GOT, you limey, no movement from your neck down half-naked fighter!…See alot more fun.

Now for your intellect:

You misspelled: already, impenetrable, weakness, and self pity has a hyphen. it’s spelled like this self-pity. And using “though” was pointless. Facebook should be capitalized. It’s a proper noun. Learned that in school. Plus my machine has a spell check. I make mistakes too but you asked and I’m pointing them out to you. And you used the word fuck which I thought we weren’t going to use.

 The most amusing part is, though, that your weakenes and insecurity are so obvious to everyone that reads your mindless posts. Here and on facebook too. Oh sure, people tell you how much they love you(women and men alike, I see), but the fact is that they are mostly all just being nice to try and make you feel better. Because they care, or because they have nothing better to do with their time than sit in front of their own computers, wasting their life away trying to console such a worthless piece of shit as yourself? Think about it while you’re sitting in your empty house, with your worthless no-haired cat as your only companion, feeling more self-loathing and self pity for yourself than anyone else could possibly feel. Oh, and by the way-HAVE A NICE DAY FUCKER!

HA! Dear Mr. Obvious, this entire blog is about self-pity and insecurity, so glad your super-genius powers picked up on the obvious. I deal with clinical depression that came on soon after school and one of the ways I have fought it is to write down my thoughts, fears, and insecurities. It keeps me from blowing up and sneaking into someone’s mom’s house and stabbing them. It keeps me from sitting in a trailer in Jewett and making up lies that get your “friend” thrown into ass slamming prison for 30 years. It keeps me from lying to “that friend” while trying to fuck his wife…if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Oh and Milton is definitely not worthless he saw your handle God Of Thunder and told me, Kiss fans are silly. I know cause I have been one and still am from time to time. To chose a handle so obvious, why not “King of the Night Time World” that was a good song off that album. or “Let’s Put the X in Sex” Love’s like a muscle and it makes me wanna flex! Sounds like a full frontal nude wrestler would choose that one. LOL!

Look brother, I’m not cyber-stalking you, you are wasting your time doing it to me. You have no effect. My blog isn’t for anyone but me and if your interested read along and join in, I would love your opinion. Maybe you didn’t get the girls in high school but I can assure it wasn’t me taking them, I couldn’t get them either. But if you are holding some sort of grudge from 25 years ago I think you need a new hobby. Try blogging its a great way to get things off your chest. I barely remember high school and probably don’t remember you, and if I do I’m sure I have nothing bad to say about you. Unless you are who I think you are. We’ll buy beers and discuss it or over a smoke of the stickiest of the icky. Probably find out neither of us is that bad of a guy. I’m happy and dearly love my friends and will do anything for them, so you can bash me but when it comes to these people you are seriously outclassed. Peace brother.

–Sammy “Rock N Roll all Night and Party Every Day”

Let’s join together and sing this song. We’ll meet in the middle. It’s my favorite Kiss song. I dedicate it to you oh God Of Thunder!

Milton and Me

 I see him everyday so he’s not really that strange-looking to me anymore. He just looks like my cat and does all the same things hairy cats do, he licks his butt, fight’s imaginary monsters, and plays fetch with his favorite toy. A McDonald’s straw. If you throw it he’ll run over fight it and bring it up and drop it next to you ready for the next time you toss it.

His only problem I’ve noticed is he won’t clean his own litter box. I hate cleaning his litter box and he hates having a dirty one so we sat down and have come up with a conclusion together. I will potty train Milton.

I’ve looked into this on the internet and it doesn’t seem that hard, just patience. Right now his litter box is in my bathroom, and every couple of days I’m placing a book under it. After a bit he’ll need to actually stand on the seat of the toilet to be able to get to littler box. Then you move it over, replace the box with a metal bowl inside the toilet and gradually start removing the cat litter and  then when its gone you put water in it. By this time he should be used to standing on the toilet seat lid and once I remove the bowl he’ll have trained himself to use the bathroom the same place everyone else here does. Easy peasy, japanese.

Things to remember:

• Leave the bathroom door open all the time for him
• Replace the seat down, just like a woman lived here
• Remove the bowl before I go to the bathroom

It’s supposed to take about a month. I’m a few days ahead because i cleaned out the office where the box was and it’s been in the bathroom for a week now. It’s about 4 inches off the floor. He’s adjusting nicely and gets a lot of praise.

I’ve decided I’m swearing off any big decisions until he’s toilet trained. A vow of chastity. No sex, no wondering about women, no worries about loneliness or who isn’t texting me back. Am I not good enough, am I being a push over, Am I giving someone the chance to stab me in the heart again. Just me and the cat and the toilet.

Now this doesn’t mean I will stop seeing women at all I’ll just stop obsessing about what they think. It’s very Zen I believe. I’m still confused, but not hurting so bad. I still want to wear my heart on my sleeve and be the kind of guy I am but now the pressure is off. I’ll still use the NPM to be mean to bitches and fake chicks who think they are the shit. As my friend Mediacom Dave once told me “If it’s that good bitch, then eat it yourself!” I loved that and I’ll have to look through my old blogs because I have used it once or twice. This will probably be the longest I have went without sex in years but I’m kind of looking forward to it. Now you’ll know I’m not trying to get down your pants or bullshit you into bed. I’m talking to you because I want to. Because I like you. Because you hopefully aren’t like the rest of the bitches I’ve been dealing with over the past months and years.

I deleted a whole bunch of numbers out of my phone last week. Women I thought might be fun but they were just out for an ego pumping. I told a good friend, while I was bottoming out, “That if I need to stroke someones ego I have a cat and at least he purrs and appreciates it.”  It wasn’t really meant for her. She’s awesome and a great friend and who doesn’t need a little ego boost every now and then.

One last complaint. There is an awesome girl I have known since high school. We’ve always gotten along great. There was and still is some sort of attraction at least on some level, she used to have a drink with me most days. Well I text her and she doesn’t text back. I can see on my end she got it and then I see her and say “Hey why won’t you ever answer a text?” She feeds me some sort of bullshit line about her phone not working, lost it, never got it, always something but I just haven’t deleted it. I like her, as friend if nothing else. She just came off a nasty break up a few weeks/months ago so maybe its too soon. Maybe she doesn’t dig me (more likely). But I’m not stupid I know you got it, so don’t lie to me….hmmmm a lie… I think I just answered my own question. If she’ll lie about something so small and not have the courtesy to reply to a friend’s text EVER then when push came to shove she’d leave your ass hanging, and I don’t need anymore of those. I just got rid of one of those.

 Wait I’m getting my phone….. contacts…options…erase…erase contact…Yes! there done.

My head is clear without the thoughts of love, women, and relationships. My friend Nancy told me “Sammy if your mind was ever on something besides pussy, you’d solve the problems of the world.” Beth’s mom is great. She’ll tell me straight. Nancy, I’m on my way.

Me and Milton will set and think about the problems of the world.